The Dumb Theory

You hear a lot of theories about how Americans choose their presidents. Some say the taller guy usually wins. Others think it comes down to hair. None of these theories are as good as the one that has worked in every election since at least 1984: Americans go with the dumb guy.

By "dumb guy," I mean, "the guy willing to act dumb." Whether Bill Clinton was smarter than the first George Bush is arguable. But Clinton was willing to eat McDonald's and pander on the Arsenio Hall Show, and Bush wasn't.

Try it with some other races if you don't believe me. Clinton vs. Bob Dole? Dole's senatorial manner of speech didn't play well. (It doesn't serve John Kerry well, either.) Bush vs. Michael Dukakis? Dukakis spun out horribly with a reasoned response to a debate question about whether he would support the death penalty for someone who raped and murdered his wife. (Maybe that's why Kerry is always careful to note that he sometimes wants to strangle child-killers with his own hands.)

Liberals like to think George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan were dumb guys who bumbled into office. That's the kind of condescension that costs them elections. Truly smart people know when to play dumb.