Laser Cub's European Vacation

So if you couldn't tell from my chat with the Ozzie, I am currently overseas. Specifically, I am roaming Europe, where many Ozzies and wolves go on holiday. My trip has exposed me to lots of fascinating viewpoints. The most common one is this: Wow, you sure are well-educated for an American.

Apparently most foreigners (Oops! I mean locals. Over here, I am the foreigner) have a low opinion of Americans' knowledge of foreign events. Maybe we got that reputation because of the Americans who didn't realize that Australia was doing some of our heavy lifting in the Middle East. Or maybe it was the Americans who told a German I encountered, "Sure, you speak in German. But you still write and think in English, right?" Or maybe it was the U.S. President who, according to the New York Times Magazine, once insisted that Sweden doesn't have an army.

All this lack of education got me thinking: Someone should spend a little money sending Americans to Europe, where we could learn more about the world and our place in it. This seems important to me because the little decisions we make (Paper or plastic? Cowboy or flip-flopper?) have a huge impact on people outside of our own country. Our vote affects not only how we respond to attacks and financial crises, but also how our allies and dependents react. My travels have empirically proven to me that we really aren't ther only ones in the world. Maybe Kerry was right after all!

But then I rethought my idea about sending Americans abroad, especially red state Americans. The first problem is, they might come back. Also, while overseas, what if they actually talk to people? The ones who speak English, I mean. Our countrymen might ask why the toilets use so little water and why the cars are so much smaller and why there aren't any guns. And instead of listening and learning, they might see fit to defend the stupid ways of their own country. And their answers might not make the rest of us look good.

"But what if a big black dude is chasing you? Wouldn't you rather have an SUV than a Smart Car? And a big gun?"

"But why do the waiters take so long in Paris? Seriously, I'm not gonna tip. That'll show him."

"Seriously, where are the guns?"

So I have mixed feelings about whether we want our people sent abroad. Maybe just the young ones, who have an excuse for knowing so little.