The Laser Cub Reader Survey

This is where I ask you, the reader, (and the other nine readers as well,) who you'll vote for. Feel free to post anonymously or under a funny name, but it would be great if you would include your party affiliation, state, and reason for supporting whoever you're supporting. The comments section is yours. Someone please respond or I'll be really embarassed.

Kerry 273-Bush 265, But Differently

While my prediction of the electoral college vote remains the same, I'm now expecting Kerry to rack up his 273 votes in a different way. New polling is making an Arkansas win look less likely for Kerry, and a Wisconsin win look less likely for Bush.

So I'm having Kerry and Bush trade the two states, which leaves the ultimate count the same. So say hello to the new map (above) and goodbye to the old map (below). Goodbye, old map. It was fun while it lasted.

Conventional Wisdom

If Bush wins Tuesday, he'll probably do it without Ohio, which no succesful Republican presidential candidate has ever lost. If Kerry wins, he'll do it without Missouri, which has voted with the winner in every presidential race since 1900, except when it went for Adlai Stevenson in 1956.

If Bush wins, he'll be the rare incumbent who comes through despite an approval rating that tends to hover below 50 percent. If Kerry wins, he'll be the first northerner and senator elected president since Kennedy.

If Bush wins, he'll do it despite the largest number of job losses of any president since Hoover, who lost. If Kerry wins, he'll be the first to unseat a sitting president in the middle of a war.

Whatever happens Tuesday, someone's conventional wisdom is going to be wrong.

Trick or Treat

I think the mark of maturity is when you're more excited about the presidential election than you are about Halloween.

Fortunately, I'm still a cub in every sense of the word. I've been too busy to find a costume, so I just pulled out the Tron costume my friends at The Decadent West made for me earlier this year.

Also, I'm happy to announce that while I'm taking election night off -- I've already made my predictions, after all -- I think I've found another super-powered animal to fill in for me. More details soon.

No One Cares

So Osama bin Laden and someone called Assam the American have offered confusing new presidential endorsements on the eve of the presidential election. Like most people who make endorsements, they don't seem to understand that no one cares what they think.

It seems that Assam wants us to vote for Kerry -- or at least that seems to be the subtext of his remarks, in which he threatened to make our blood run in the streets for electing Bush in 2000.

Though he can't resist a few digs at Bush, Osama weighs in with a namby-pampy "no endorsement," saying it doesn't matter who we elect as long as we don't mess with the security of his people. He shows a bizarre understanding of our government when he says, "And each state that does not harm our security will remain safe." If that's the case, and if he really blames Bush for his troubles, he might want to stop attacking places like New York and Washington, D.C., which voted overwhelmingly against the president.

Mostly, bin Laden's message is just confusing. Maybe his CIA captors should write him better scripts. (Or maybe Michael Moore is his new head writer, with lines like, "It never occurred to us that the commander in chief of the country would leave 50,000 citizens in the two towers to face those horrors alone ... because he thought listening to a child discussing her goats was more important." Wow, Osama got the talking points!)

Americans spend a lot of time trying to figure out what the terrorists will do next, and I wish they had the courtesy to try to understand us as well, especially if they're going to start telling us how to vote. According to recent polls, most Americans are opposed to both the war in Iraq and the Sept. 11 attacks. And as for the situation with Israel and the Palestinians, most of us are sick of the brutality on both sides. (I'll bet lots of Palestinians and Israelis, are, too.)

Before anyone else decides to chastise or kill us for our "support" or "opposition" to this or that Middle East policy, bear in mind that even those of us who kind of give a fuck don't really give a fuck. Our government over here has a tendency to do things on our behalf without checking with us first. The truth is, most of us can't find Israel on a map, much less the land formerly known as Palestine.

In the end, we'd like it if violent types in the Middle East would try to get along with each other, and ask that that you please not attack any of our states. Not even Florida.

Oh No

My opinions are actually being taken seriously.

I Worked Hard On It, Okay?

Yes, I'm displaying my prediction map again. I want to keep posting it because I really am taking election night off. I can't handle the pressure.

My big election dream right now is that Kerry will win the Electoral College but lose the popular vote -- the same way Bush "won" in 2000. That's really the only way both sides will agree to get rid of the Electoral College system.

If Bush does win, I hope it's because the Electoral College is locked in a perfect 269-269 tie and the whole thing has to be settled by the House of Representatives. Even better, maybe Bush and Kerry could settle it Skull 'n' Bones style with a secret ritual involving Satanism, candles, miniature hammers, and an unappetizing cookie.

We Salute You Too, Mr. President

Here is the obligatory link to video of a mid-1990s George W. Bush giving the finger, which he describes on the tape as a "one-fingered victory salute."

It's funny that what means "victory" to the president means "fuck you" to everyone else. Now we know what he means when he says he'll "win a great victory" November 2nd.

The Passion of The Jackass

The Director of The Passion of the Christ is of The Opinion that The Governor of the State of The California is somehow obligated to talk with him of The Issue of The Stem Cell Research.

He's not. Arnold Schwarzenegger is an elected official now, and Mel Gibson is still just a celebrity with an inflated sense of self-importance. Now get cracking, Mr. Gibson, on The Making of The Birth of The Christ, and remember -- your audience expects plenty of blood and guts during the crucial cut-the-umbilical-cord-and-slap the-little-saviour-on-the-butt sequence.

Strike?

Yay Red Sox. The first half of my prediction -- Sox and Kerry win -- has come true. But the Sox were the easy part. For the Kerry prediction to also come true, he'll have to not say the kind of things he said in an interview with SportsCenter that will be broadcast on election eve.

Apparently Kerry shot off his mouth about how he doesn't think Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame. This is crazy for two reasons. First, there's nothing wrong with betting that your own team is going to win. That's called confidence. Second, the Cincinnati Reds are located in Ohio, which you may have heard is a huge and important swing state. And Cincinnati loves Pete Rose.

Kerry, stick to criticizing Bush for not putting enough troops on the ground when he went ahead with his stupid plan to attack Iraq. Remind everyone that the troops in Iraq aren't to blame for the missing explosives. It's the troops that weren't on the ground that were the problem -- and Bush didn't send them to Iraq because it wasn't politically prudent to do so. He didn't want people to think we were launching the kind of full-blown nation-building expedition we're trapped in now.

And yes, I do think it's cowardly for Bush and Kerry to give their last high-profile interviews of the campaign to SportsCenter instead of a real news show like Oprah.

Blue Hawaii?

Here's a fancy, more professional looking version of the map below. I really do hope we can somehow resolve the election on the mainland, but I have a great fear it will be settled in Hawaii, which is hours behind the rest of the country timezone-wise.

Hawaii is also no stranger to election odddities. In September, the state temporarily forgot to count lots of ballots. So we could end up with one person being declared the winner, and then that result changing.

You would almost think election lawyers and media were somehow rigging things so that this election, like the last one, ends with a long visit to a state with lots of sunshine and beaches.

Kerry 273-Bush 265

This time next week, most of America will be excitedly trying to figure out the results of the election. I can't handle the stress, so I'm just going to share the results today.

I've reached my conclusion -- that Kerry will get 273 electoral college votes compared to 265 for Bush -- based on psychic powers, imagination, and what little I know about the states themselves. I haven't taken into account the possibility that Coloradans will pass a measure to split their 9 electoral college votes. I'm also ignoring a threat from a Republican elector in West Virginia who says he won't give his vote to Bush, no matter what.

In the spirit of charity, I'm giving Arkansas to Kerry, and giving Iowa and most of the Southwest to Bush. I'm giving Florida to Bush begrudgingly. I fully expect Kerry to receive more votes there, but I also expect those votes to be miraculously discounted.

Also, this election could come down to Hawaii's four electoral votes. Hawaii could easily be the Florida of 2004.

Congratulations to President Kerry and the World Champion Boston Red Sox.

Stand and Don't Deliver

A lot of people like to say they're voting for Bush because they "know where he stands." They may not always agree with him, they say with pride, but they know where he stands.

But is knowing where someone stands, even if they're wrong, really such a virtue? Don't we know where Osama bin Laden stands, and where the Unabomber stands, and where the cast of America Pie 3 stands? (For the record, they support more jokes about crotch shaving.)

What matters isn't so much whether a candidate sticks to their guns, but whether their reasons for sticking to their guns are good. Bush isn't continuing to say he's on the right course in Iraq because he actually is -- no reasonable person believes things are going well there. Fifty of the people who are supposed to be taking over for our troops were ambused and killed this weekend, sold out by someone on their own side. And of course you know about the missing 350 tons of explosives, which would be sufficient to bring down 700,000 commerical airliners. (Considering that it took less than one pound to bring down Pan Am Flight 103.)

Bush is sticking to his guns because he's boxed in. He can't reverse himself on his wrong course -- or even change diretion slightly -- after building so much of his campaign on calling the other guy a flip-flopper.

So yes, you know where Bush stands -- he's over on the right, with at least one foot in the quicksand.

Fast Food Nation, Part II

This is for the Nader voters. I know lots of people have been yelling at you and calling you names, and I wish they wouldn't. I know where you're coming from, and I know your hearts in the right place. So rather than being nasty, I want to share something I've come up with just for you.

What I want to tell you refers back to something I wrote earlier about presidential candidates and fast food. Since it has a moral and involves a talking animal (hi), I guess it's kind of a fable. So here we go.

Let's say you've been on a long journey. It's lasted the last four years, let's say. You're very, very hungry, but the only place to eat along your path is McDonald's, and you don't like McDonald's. You're holding out for something better.

Up ahead is a town. It's called, let's see... um, Election Town. So you see a billboard that says Election Town has yet more McDonald's, and also a Subway.

You're disappointed. You were hoping Election Town might have something much tastier than McDonald's. And while Subway might be a smidge better than McDonald's, it's still pretty bad. What you really want is a healthy, organic soy burger.

When you get to the town, you see the McDonald's and Subway, but also a guy standing under a sign for soy burgers. His name is Ralph.

"Thank goodness you're here," you say. "Can I have a soy burger?"

"Well, no," Ralph says. "I don't have any soy burgers yet, because I don't have enough customers. But I'm going to stand here with my sign and raise awareness of soy burgers, so eventually people will become educated enough to want one, and then I'll be in business."

"How many people do you need before that happens?"

"Oh, I don't know," Ralph says. "Maybe 20, 30 percent of the town's population. Right now I have 1 or 2 percent in some areas -- enough to drive Subway out of business, even if it helps McDonald's. But that's okay, because they both suck."

"Wait," you say. "So if you don't actually have soy burgers, what's with the sign? Now I'm hungrier than I was."

"Well, I'm also protesting the lack of options in Election Town," Ralph says. "Subway and McDonald's are too similar. You can barely tell the difference between them."

Now you're even hungrier, and you have a choice. Like many of the choices you'll face in your adult life, it's a bad choice. But during this stop in Election Town, as in many situations, there's simply no way for you to get a soy burger.

You walk over to McDonald's and Subway and study the menus very carefully. You decide there's nothing you can eat at McDonald's. Even the cardboard cutout of Ronald McDonald, in fact, makes you nauseous. Nothing grabs you at Subway either, except maybe -- possibly -- the veggie patty on whole wheat. That might be somewhat edible.

So what now? Do you settle for Subway, or stand outside and protest with Ralph? Bear in mind that if Subway goes out of business, all of Election Town has to spend the next four years choking down what they get from the clown.

My Name is George W.

In all the armchair analysis of President Bush, there's one thing we can't forget. The president has more in common with Bill W., the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, than just an initial.

President Bush used to be a guy who didn't know when to quit. Someone who took the wheel when he shouldn't have. Who got sloppy and said things he'd regret later. A drunk.

Maybe, like most drunks, he was trying to fill a void. To replace doubt and fear with a sense that everything was going to be all right, as long as you keep drinking.

Like Bill W., Bush beat alcoholism by turning his life over to a higher power. But no one knows what ultimately made him go to God. Some people find religion even though they know that God is impossible, that the notion of God is absurd. These people believe anyway, out of faith -- the sense that believing in God is right no matter how little sense it makes.

Others believe just because they're scared. They want some protection against the fear and doubt, or they're afraid to find out what happens if you die without believing. And they find that having God at your back is a powerful thing, even stronger than booze. You can shoot your mouth off, throw a punch, start a war. And there's no such thing as a God hangover, so you don't have to call anyone the next day and apologize.

Bush has traded the opium of the frat boy for the opium of the masses. But alcoholics are never really cured, and he's still a drunk. It's just that now he's drunk on Christ, and off on the bigger bender of his life.

Trash Digging

This story has been floating around for awhile, and now it's on the Drudge Report. I'm kind of worried that this effort to widely circulate it is part of some broader right-wing conspiracy. (You'll recall that the Swift Boat Veterans got their start on Drudge.)

Here's my concern: Now that Democrats are making an issue of a Republicans' divorce records -- and now that Republicans are making an issue of Democrats making an issue -- it won't look as sleazy if (when) Republicans unleash something from the divorce records of Kerry's first marriage.

The Kerry divorce documents, first discussed (of course) in the National Enquirer, seem to me to be the last remaining source of potential campaign dirt. Republicans have already accused Kerry of murdering helpless Viet Cong and lying about his wounds. The only thing left is to rally the religious right by claiming that Kerry cheated on his first wife.

I'm not saying he did this, by the way -- just that its the kind of allegation that often makes its way into divorce cases, whether or not it's true. It first appeared in the aforementioned Enquirer story.

To some people (and I'm using "some people" as a euphemism for "religious nuts"), being divorced from your wife is worse than being divorced from reality.

St. Louis 5, Houston 2

Dang. (See below.)

No More Curse

Congrats to the Red Sox on a comeback so thrilling even I watched it. (I'm not usually the sporty type.) I'm hoping the Astros will win tonight for two reasons. First, so the Red Sox can get some payback against Roger Clemens. And second, because a Texas vs. Massachusetts series would be the most bizarrely symbolic ever, from a presidential politics standpoint.

Sure, it would be better if the Sox, John Kerry's favorite team, were playing the Rangers, a team President Bush used to own. But they're both in the American League.

Kerry should be rooting hard for the Astros too, because I think a Cardinals win will be bad for his campaign. He's behind in Missouri as it is, and things won't get any better if his team takes on the Cardinals.

Old Man River

Kerry has come back in a big way in New Jersey polls. Weird. I say that because this comes right after a big Bush speech in south Jersey where he really tore into Kerry. Maybe that backfired.

In other good news for Kerry, Clinton's going to appear with him in Pennsylvania. If Clinton really wants to tip the election -- and if he's feeling healthy enough -- he should start a tour of the states immediately east of the Mississippi.

He could start in Louisiana, a historically Democratic state leaning toward Bush, then go up to his home state of Arkansas, where Kerry has lucked into a statistical tie despite almost no campaigning. Then it's on to Missouri, which will probably go Bush, and the crucial swing states of Iowa and Minnesota.

If he wants to make it really fun, he'll make the rounds in a big steamboat, chugging straight up the Mississippi.

The Abortion President

Turns out the number of abortions is actually increasing under President Bush. What does this mean? If Republicans are so anti-abortion, they need to stop being pro-life only until children are born. The best way to reduce abortions, it turns out, is to start fixing the long-term financial problems that lead many women to abort.

Recap

For anyone who enjoys this sort of thing, there's an animated debate in the comments section of this post about whether gays are born gay. I say yes, but I also think it shouldn't have any bearing on whether gays are free to do anything heterosexuals are allowed to do.

Also, so we don't get off the issues that debates like this are designed to distract us from, here's another link to that video of Bush saying he doesn't worry about Osama bin Laden. Oh, and did anyone know Mary Cheney is gay?

Paul Krugman: Laser Thief

So New York Times columnist Paul Krugman had a column yesterday called "Feeling The Draft." I don't want to accuse anyone of plagiarism, but that column is sort of similar to the title of my recent post, "Feel a Draft?" Also, the content of his column is very similar to mine: debating whether Bush has overextended the military the same way he's overextended spending. Krugman drew a different conclusion than I did so no one would realize he copied me.

This of course raises lots of questions. First, why is a Princeton economist cribbing ideas from a den-dwelling animal out of a misguided sci-fi fable? And why doesn't this charming creature have its own New York Times column? Finally, who would've guessed that PK is one of my nine readers?

Ashley's Story

Click here for a moving campaign ad about how President Bush comforted a girl who lost her mother in the World Trade Center.

Wow, it's really hard to think about politics when you see something like this. It's hard just to keep a dry eye. Really powerful stuff. Actually, the only possible way I could imagine it being more moving is if, while he comforted the girl, President Bush wasn't LOOKING RIGHT INTO A CAMERA.

Don't Quit Your Day Job

Jon Stewart, why?

The Daily Show is one of the best things on TV, and Stewart is one of the funniest people. I love the guy. But I'm worried that the slurry of articles overpraising him have finally gone to his head.

I'm talking about this maddening exchange between Stewart and the hosts of Crossfire. In presuming to tell them how to do their jobs, Stewart abandoned the needling, subversive quality that makes him so funny on his own show and ended up sounding like one of the simplistic talking heads on... well, Crossfire.

I know, I know. The Daily Show is comedy, and Crossfire aspires to inform. We're supposed to have lower standards for comedy because it's "only entertainment." But once Stewart intentionally or not puts his show and Crossfire on the same level, it becomes hard to explain why his shallow pro-Kerry jokes are somehow better for the country than Crossfire's shallow presentation of both sides.

Fast Food Nation

A fascinating study asked voters to compare Bush and Kerry to popular brand-name products. Some of the results were predictable: whoever they supported, voters equated Bush with Bud Light and Kerry with some fussy foreign beer.

But here's what I found interesting: Bush and Kerry supporters both saw their candidate as Subway, and the other guy as McDonald's. What this means depends on what people think of McDonald's and Subway. If most voters are like me, they see McDonald's as old, bad for you, and a little tired. Subway, meanwhile, feels healthier and more dynamic, even if the bread tastes like cardboard.

I'm sure Bush and Kerry voters dislike McDonald's for different reasons. Bush backers may equate it with dreary tax-and-spend liberals, while Kerry supporters may see it as a symbol of deficits and us-vs.-them foreign policy. But everyone agrees that eating a Big Mac is depressing.

There's one bit of good news for Kerry: undecideds think he's Subway and Bush is McDonald's. The question is whether they like junk food.

Ego Trip

I'd like to take a minute to pay attention to Ralph Nader and his pointless journey across the country. It is my solemn hope that if he gets enough attention and ego waxing by alternative means, he'll abandon his run for president.

Really, Mr. Nader. Why can't you just be like every other misguided egotist and start a blog?

Un-Laser Like Precision

As you may have noticed, I don't worry much about polls. But now that we're down to the wire, it's worth noting some very big surprises.

One, Bush is doing very well in New Jersey, which of course is supposed to be safe for Kerry. Two -- and this is very, very weird -- Kerry is neck-and-neck with Bush in Arkansas. That's even without much help from a still-recovering Clinton.

Of course, it's helpful to note that at about this point in the 2000 election, polls predicted Bush would win. And we all know how that turned out.

Feel a Draft?

Don't worry. Bush isn't going to start a draft, no matter what anyone says. That isn't how Bush does things.

For an idea of Bush's approach, look at how he's handled the economy. We all know he's raised the national debt to $7.4 trillion, right? But you don't see Bush raising taxes or reducing spending. He hasn't vetoed a single bill. Ever.

Given how much he's let the United States overextend itself on spending, what makes you think he'll be more disciplined in war? If he would never ask people to pay a few more cents in the form of a gas tax, do you really think he'd ask them to take on the much greater inconvience of registering for the draft, or actually serving?

This is a person who simply hasn't demonstrated any ability to act responsibly. He'll let us lose in Iraq long before he asks anyone to make a personal sacrifice.

The Best Offense

By the way, I think the Cheneys are expressing all this offense at Kerry's mention of their daughter to create a sexy, controversial story that will deflect attention from Bush's big debate lie: that he never said he wasn't worried about Osama bin Laden. Here's the video again.

Howling Mad

So Republicans are in a major snit over Kerry's answer to a debate question about whether people are born gay. Here's the shocking thing he said:

We're all God's children, Bob. And I think if you were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she would tell you that she's being who she was, she's being who she was born as.

So. Did you catch the shocking part? You might have to read it another 4,000 times. Or I'll just summarize. Dick Cheney, who thanked John Edwards for applauding his family's openness and acceptance in the last debate, says he's a "pretty angry father" because Kerry said... something. He won't explain what part of what Kerry said made him so pretty mad.

Look, I know Republicans are used to being on the receiving end of the "What you said is offensive!" game. But now that you're the ones pointing fingers, let me offer a little tip: It helps if the person you're ostensibly offended by actually said something offensive.

Fortunately Elizabeth Edwards is here to assist the Cheney family in their fledgling attempts at feeling wounded. Mrs. Edwards actually was out of line when she took exception to Lynne Cheney joining her husband in criticizing Kerry. "I think that it indicates a certain degree of shame with respect to her daughter's sexual preferences," Mrs. Edwards said, getting a wee bit too personal. And didn't Kerry just say that it's a sexual orientation, not a preference?

Mrs. Edwards and others should realize how important it is to recognize that gay people really are gay, not just enjoying a passing fad. You see, if God makes people gay, and God is infallible, then there's nothing wrong with being gay. It's a really simple idea, but some people have an difficult time getting it. And they need to.

Also, sorry about the lack of a relevant picture, but society has neglected to arrange for anything cool-looking to appear when you do a Google image search for "rainbow wolf." Apparently people are still caught up in the stereotype that wolves only like baying at the moon.

W's Last Stand

Will he go out scowling and screaming? Can he win if he does? We're about to find out.

I suspect Bush will mention at some point an argument that surfaced earlier this week as a trial balloon -- the allegation that Kerry and his heiress wife pay a lower tax rate than most middle class families. I hope he does, because then Kerry can fire back by saying that's exactly why the Bush tax policy needs to stop favoring the rich.

9:12: The first thing Bush does is take a pen out of his jacket. Remember when Kerry did just that in the first debate and the Drudge Report accused him of taking out a cheat sheet? Ha ha.

Also, what do you think Bush and Kerry say to each other as they shake hands?

I think things are starting well for Bush. He's smiling a lot -- a lot -- and Kerry has fallen back into his habit of using loooooong sentences.

Bush -- who refers to terrorists as "folks" -- mocks Kerry for saying in an interview that terrorism needs to be reduced to a nuisance. Kerry has a nice response, noting that Bush once said he "doesn't worry" that much about bin Laden. Bush says that's an exaggeration, which is a huge mistake, because he did, in fact, say exactly that. You saw him say it if you saw Fahrenheit 9/11. Sounds like a flip-flop. But will average voters notice?

9:20: Here's a video of Bush saying "I don't know where he (bin Laden) is... I truly am not that concerned about him." So, it sounds like Kerry wasn't exaggerating when he accused Bush of saying he didn't worry much about bin Laden.

9:30: Bush just said Ted Kennedy was the "conservative senator from Massachusetts." But last time he said Kennedy was the most liberal senator in the country. How confusing.

9:36: Bush is lying (see 9:20), but he's doing a great job. He looks much more personable than Kerry. Kerry is doing fine, but he's not exactly inspiring. Bush looks secure and not crazy anymore, which is people like in a leader.

9:40: I really want Kerry to swing it into high gear. Cool and collected works well when Bush is self-destructing, but Bush isn't self-destructing.

9:42: Whoa. Is Kerry getting hustled? Was Bush just pretending to be a stuttering fool in the last two debates? Sorry if I seem startled, but Bush just cited an actual... number. It was in a question about veterans' health care. He almost never uses... numbers.

9:45: Bush's claim that Kerry voted against partial-birth abortion is infuriating. He voted against it because the ban didn't include an exemption in cases where the mother's life was in danger. The bill could have literally forced women to go forward with pregnancies that would kill them.

If Republicans really cared about partial-birth abortion, they would have written a bill a decade ago with an exemption to the ban when the mother's life was at risk. Democrats would have signed on, and countless partial-birth abortions would have been prevented. But Republicans aren't really obsessed with preventing partial-birth abortions. What they're obsessed with is being able to say Democrats favor them.

If Republicans love unborn babies so much, why did they allow so many of them to be partial-birth aborted because they refused to work with Democrats on a ban that would have passed?

9:53: Bush is giving a reasonable and humane answer on immigration. That'll cost him the white supremacist vote.

9:57: Also, that immigration answer contained a semi-truth: Bush said he opposed amnesty. Maybe he doesn't favor it now, but he flirted with it before Sept. 11. Take it from the conservative Washington Times:

Before the September 11 attacks, the administration had begun talks with Mexican President Vicente Fox about ways to legalize more than 3 million undocumented Mexicans living in the United States. The dialogue ended after the attacks.

10:05: Good point, Kerry! Why are National Guardsmen defending Iraq instead of defending the United States from another domestic terror attack? Aren't they called the National Guard for a reason?

Uh-oh: Bush uses an anecdote about proud soldiers. Approval ratings climb. Anecdotes connect with people, unlike those scary numbers. That's probably why he doesn't mess with them too often.

10:09: The president says the best way to protect people from guns is to punish people who use them. Uh, no. That doesn't sound too proactive. That means someone has to get shot before you do anything.

At first I was mad that Kerry didn't point out that Bush was getting behind the problem instead of getting in front of it. But then he hit the guns question out of the park with an answer that mentioned 1. He is a hunter 2. He has been hunting in the swing state of Iowa 3. The sheriff he was hunting with pointed out a house where a drug runner kept an AK-47 4. Osama bin Laden hopes to take advantage of the easy access to assault weapons in America.

Very nice answer.

10:16: Bush's answer about religion is masterful. He says he prays often, and that it's private (even though he's talking about it now -- hey, they asked.) His comment that you're "equally an American" whether you're a Christian, Jew, Muslim or atheist covers every possible base.

Kerry's comment that he "measures" the words of the Bible makes him sound kind of like a Biblical scholar, which I guess might impress people in our very religious country. Or just make him sound weird. His comment about "Native Americans who gave me a blessing the other day" was a pretty heavy-handed aside.

10:19: Kerry is such a pro. While praising Bush for his leadership after Sept. 11, he mentions that Bush and Tom Daschle shared a very "genuine" hug. This is of course the same hug that Daschle is being accused of exploiting in his very close re-election bid. Now that's how you make an offhanded comment.

10:30: Both have excellent, personable answers to the softball question about the influence of strong women in their lives. Bush finally makes a successful joke about his scowling, and has a sweet story about falling in love at first sight with Laura. Kerry has a great answer too, saying he and the others "married up." And his memory of his mother on her death bed saying "integrity, integrity, integrity" is pretty powerful.

All in all, Bush wins. Expectations were so low from the previous debates, I think he'll get a lot of points just for looking solid. Bush had a lot of answers that sounded good, even though (as detailed above) some of them weren't true.

As for the long term, Kerry may have helped himself a lot by looking human, at least as he warmed up. I also think Democrats got another killer attack ad out of Bush's stupid, false answer when he denied ever saying he wasn't worried about bin Laden. Here's that video again.

Countdown

Welcome to the Den of Democracy's coverage of the last presidential debate to feature George W. Bush, whether he wins or loses. Pretty exciting. I guess he should be expected to lose tonight, given that the debate is supposed to focus on domestic policy and Bush pushes himself as a war president. (His own team wanted the first debate to focus on foreign affirs because they considered that his strong suit.)

But here's the problem. Political pundits, out of some confused sense of fairness, like to say that one candidate won one debate, the other candidate won another, and the third was a draw. The conventional wisdom is that Kerry won the first and the second was a draw. Which means the patth of least resistance will be to say Bush is the winner tonight, as long as he does decently.

Another problem: Kerry really can't close the deal with voters until they start to like with him. Last night I watched Alexandra Pelosi's film "Diary of a Political Tourist," which included lots of candid Kerry footage. He comes off as alternately solitary and self-confident, but never as morose or arrogant. He has his ups and downs in the film but he's sturdy. I don't know if there's a way to display that kind of inner strength in the debate, but if he can, he'll do well.

So. We're a few minutes away, and I'll start a fresh post when the debate starts. As always, I'll continue to post my thoughts and when I thought of them. If you feel like posting in the comments lounge, please do.

A Very Special Invitation

Laser Cub cordially invites you (+1 guest) to visit the Den of Democracy tomorrow night at 9 p.m. Eastern (6 p.m. Pacific) for live commentary on the final debate between George Bush and John Kerry. As some of you may know, I had lots of fun discussing the last debate with several guests in the comments lounge.

Thanks to the 22nd Amendment, this is the last time we will ever get to witness George W. Bush in a presidential debate -- and if you saw the last two debates, you'll understand how truly thankful we should be. Please join me for this historic and entertaining moment in our nation's history.

Bush and Trees: A Clarification

Factcheck.org is clarifying something I cited in a previous post. Apparently President Bush doesn't own a timber company -- he owns part of a company that owns part of a company organized "for the purpose of the production of trees for commercial sales."

What does all this mean? Basically, the president is higher up the corporate ladder than the poor sap (ha, ha) who merely owns a timber company.

Super Oops

Today's New York Times obituary for Christopher Reeve contains the following curious passage:

One of Mr. Reeve's last projects was directing "The Brooke Ellison Story," about a girl who became a quadriplegic at 11 but rose above her disability to graduate from Harvard. It will be broadcast on A&E in August.

Uh, August was two months ago, New York Times. Is it possible this is one of those obituaries that newspapers write in advance and occasionally forget to update? Also, I don't think the movie is scheduled to air until later this month.

The Daily Planet wouldn't approve.

Boycott

If you get some downtime today, and feel like doing some good, why not write to one of the Sinclair Broadcast Group's advertisers?

The company is running an anti-Kerry campaign ad disguised as a news program on its stations in several swing states between now and election day. If you, like me, think that's dirty pool, take a second to call or e-mail one of those advertisers and promise not to use their products. It should be easy: their advertisers include Arby's and Papa John's, which aren't too good anyway.

Desaparecidos

Hey, that's funny. Osama bin Laden has disappeared, too -- though not in the same way.

Admit It

It's time for both sides, Democrats and Republicans, to be honest enough to accept a few rules about our world.

First, Iraq is going to be a huge mess no matter who gets elected. A large percentage of the country hates us, and wants us to leave. It's going to be a long slog whether we're trying to kill those people or change their minds.

Second, many American jobs are going to be outsourced no matter what we do. Corporations are driven by profit, not charity. If Indians will gratefully do a job as well as Americans for one-fifth the money (or less), there is no chance American companies are going to keep the jobs here.

Third, if terrorists want to attack us, they'll manage to do it. It's horrible, but it's true. It's great that there hasn't been a terror attack since 9/11, but that isn't because they're afraid of us. It's because they're regrouping.

The sooner we stop debating these pointless, inarguable realities, the sooner we can start debating issues that one party or the other might actually be able to do something about.

Superman

Is John Kerry killing people to create martyrs for stem-cell research? Or is he psychic? First he signs a letter calling for more stem cell research the day before Reagan dies. Then he mentions his friend Christopher Reeve's support for the research in a debate, and two days later Reeve surprisingly passes on.

Yes, of course I'm kidding about Kerry killing people. He's the one pushing for research that could keep them alive. Maybe something good will come of Reeve's death if it provides another boost for that research.

So rest in peace, Superman. Those who can shoot laser beams out of our eyes need to stick together, and the world feels a little lonelier with one less of us.

Karen Ryan Reporting

You may not know it, but the Bush Administration has its own personal taxpayer-funded reporter, and I'm not even talking about Carl Cameron. I'm referring Karen Ryan, a sham journalist who anchors news stories puffing up the administration's scant accomplishments in education and health care.

Actually, those are only the Karen Ryan exclusives we know about. In order to spread propaganda while staying below the radar, the administration sends her prepackaged reports to dumb or lazy television stations in the hopes that they'll run them without any scrutiny. The reports on education and health care are only the ones that have been discovered -- and I'm pretty sure Karen Ryan works on more than two stories a year. So I sat down and tried to imagine the pro-Bush spins of some other Karen Ryan "scoops":

-Taxpayer dollars help heroic reporter counter liberal bias of Fox News

-Fossil fuel consumption down 100 percent among soldiers killed in Iraq

-Inheritance tax threatens Paris Hilton's funding for next 11 sex tapes

-Scientific panel says Kerry would raise taxes and give the money to terrorists

I hate to make another joke about Karen Ryan and Fox both being shills for Bush, but's it is interesting to see what comes when you go to Google images and type in the phrase, "reporter Karen Ryan."

Timberwolf

Nothing says "regular guy" like owning so much shit you can't even keep track of all the shit you own. Yes, President Bush, you do own a timber company. Thanks, Factcheck.org. No wonder Cheney gave the wrong address for your site. I wouldn't want people to know this, either:

President Bush himself would have qualified as a "small business owner" under the Republican definition, based on his 2001 federal income tax returns. He reported $84 of business income from his part ownership of a timber-growing enterprise. However, 99.99% of Bush's total income came from other sources that year. (Bush also qualified as a "small business owner" in 2000 based on $314 of "business income," but not in 2002 and 2003 when he reported his timber income as "royalties" on a different tax schedule.)

The Show and Tell Me State

Here we go on debate number two, live from Missouri. I want to apologize for all the mean things I've said about Missouri in the past, because the undecided voters in the audience are asking far better questions than any of the moderators to date. Here are my thoughts and when I thought of them.

9:10: Both candidates start out using folksy, almost Southern accents. Kerry's sounds as fake and affected as Bush's. Fortunately he clears his throat after a minute or so. Good idea, since Missouri isn't in the South.

Kerry slips in a question about whether he's wishy-washy. He says Bush has accused him of slip-flopping on three things: The Patriot Act, No Child Left Behind, and... What? That's only two? Exactly. What's the third? I'm assuming he meant Iraq. More on this at Factcheck.com.

Bush screws up in his response by accusing Kerry of voting against the $87 billion before he voted for it. No, no, no. He voted for it before he voted against it. Except Kerry concedes he was being "inarticulate" when he said it. So maybe Bush does have it right.

9:23: Both of these guys are repeating the same things over and over. This is boring. I hope Randi Jacobs, the next questioner, will have a good question... and she does! It's about Iran. Thanks Randi.

By the way, is it me or are these questions extremely hostile to the war in Iraq? Is it because of the report that found conclusively that there are no weapons of mass destruction? These audience members are smart and skeptical -- the opposite of the know-nothing stereotype of undecided voters.

9:27: Bush just said a Kerry answer "made me want to scowl" and NO ONE laughed.

9:29: Geez, Bush! Sound a little more defensive, why don't you. Also, tell us more about these draft rumors you've heard about on the "Internets."

9:30: I haven't checked Daily Kos, because I think the mood there must be so sugary I'd need insulin. And I live in a cave, where it's not available. What I'm saying is, Bush sounds crazy. Totally defensive, and he has no rapport with the audience. Sound the alarm, because this is a meltdown. The only advantage Bush has is that Kerry has bags under his eyes.

I am saying this for the first time because this is the first time I've believed it: Bush is going to lose.

9:36: Kerry just noted that this country has "bridges and tunnels" that aren't being secured. Nice job, Kerry. You remembered the Jersey vote.

9:37: I just checked Daily Kos. I couldn't resist. This what it said:

"I CAN HEAR YOU FINE! NO NEED TO YELL!!!!
And by the way, it's called the "Internet". Not the "Internets". (There's only one...)

"He lost it. He totally lost it. Holy fucking shit."

9:40: Oh Christ. In the battle of how to pronounce "Missouri" (Miz-or-ee or Miz-or-uh), Bush sides with the Miz-or-uh faction. So it's official: the correct pronounciation is Miz-or-ee.

9:41: I don't think Kerry is particularly amazing tonight. But he doesn't have to be. Bush is giving these undecided voters something to vote against.

9:43: Oh my Gosh Kerry just KICKED BUSH'S ASS ON THE MEDICARE QUESTION.

9:46: Wow. Bush says the National Journal rated "Senator Kennedy" the most liberal senator of all. So where did they rank Senator Kerry? Did Bush misspeak again? This is gonna be all over the Internets.

9:55: Wow. How much did Kerry pay the clean-cut kid who asked him to look into the camera and promise not to raise taxes on families making less than $200,000 a year? Hopefully more than $200,000, because it's a huge moment for the Kerry campaign.

9:58: Hahahaha. Kerry just accused Bush of "fuzzy math." This was Bush's retarded mantra in the first debate with Gore in 2000, and Kerry is clearly using it just to upset Bush. Great debate tactic.

Bush just accused Bush of raising taxes 98 times. But wait... I thought it was 350 times. Are you flip-flopping?

Also, the way Bush just said he had a plan "to increase the wetlands by... three million," like he'd just invented the number, wasn't very inspiring. Also, three million what? Three million inches?

10:05: Uh, Kerry: there's just 25 minutes to go. This would be a good time to stop highlighting the differences between you and Bush and start highlighting a "message of hope." You've won already. Now try to be classy about it.

10:09: It has come to this: the election hinges on whether Bush really owns a timber company that is "news to me."

10:11: Missouri is more representative of the U.S. at large than any other state. Which suggests that all the other undecided voters out there -- like the ones asking questions in this debate -- aren't undecided because they're stupid. They're undecided because they're jaded. In other words, smart.

10:14: Haha. Kerry pretends to "respect" a question about how maybe we shouldn't use embryonic stem cells. Then he turns around and disagrees with the woman who posed it. I think he'll get some points for "standing up for what he believes, even when it isn't popular" -- even though what he believes, in this case, is incredibly popular.

Bush says we have to be "very careful." A brave stand, Mr. President.

10:19: Bush's joke about the Supreme Court again falls flat. So far I think the only joke these angry undecided voters have laughed at is Kerry's assertion that he, Bush and moderator Charlie Gibson are the only ones at the debate who make more than $200,000 a year. Looks like Kerry has a better rapport.

By the way, while we're sort of on the subject of Charles Gibson, PUSH UP YOUR GLASSES, CHARLIE GIBSON! That low-on-the-nose would-be intellectual look makes you look like an ass.

10:24: Kerry manages to skillfully slip a reference to his Vietnam experience into a question about abortion. Maybe this guy is sneaky enough to be president.

Bush has a smart answer to the abortion question, listing a series of supposedly "common ground" ways to reduce abortions. A good move in a very Catholic area.

Kerry's rebuttal is good: "It's never as simple as the president would have you believe."

10:28: Wow, the toughest question of the night is the last: can Bush name three mistakes he's made? Come on. He can't even name one. He just launches into another pat, rehearsed speech about Iraq.

Whoa! But then he says he "made some mistakes in appointing people." Is he referring to the EPA Administrator who quit? (But who still has a bio up on the White House web site?)

Or is he talking about the Treasury Secretary who said Bush was planning the Iraq invasian even before 9/11? (Who, bafflingly, also still has a bio on the White House site.)

Either way, criticizing people who worked for your administration is a tacky thing to do. And a nice window into Bush's worldview: agree with me, or you're wrong.

10:39: Bush loses big, crushed by hostile questions from the audience. How long will it take for Republicans to accuse either Gallup, which chose the panelists, or Charlie Gibson, who chose from their questions, to claim that the debate was rigged wildly in Kerry's favor?

The Lord of Massachusetts

I think Gwen Ifill did a good job of moderating VeepDeb 2004, but she did ask John Edwards one question that struck me as silly:

As the vice president mentioned, John Kerry comes from the state of Massachusetts, which has taken as big a step as any state in the union to legalize gay marriage. Yet both you and Senator Kerry say you oppose it. Are you trying to have it both ways?

Huh? Is Kerry now responsible for every single thing that happens in Massachusetts? If so, I hope Ifill is giving him his due for the Red Sox. But really, Kerry didn't have anything to do with Massachusetts' court rulings on gay marriage.

If Kerry is responsible for every single thing that happens in the Bay State, isn't Bush responsible for every single thing that happens nationwide? I can imagine the debate questions:

Mr. President, you've made a shameless play for "security moms" with your claim that terrorists may attack schools in four swing states, yet American students recently plotted to attack schools in Texas and -- wait a minute -- Massachusetts? Well it looks like you and Senator Kerry both have some explaining to do.

Dear Someone, Seriously

According to my stats page, the Larry H. Parker person checked in again today. That was pretty exciting, but this mysterious individual still hasn't answered my question about whether they like me or want to sue me. (Feel free to post anonymously in the comments section or to e-mail me at lasercub@yahoo.com.)

Believe it or not, more than one person has e-mailed me about the Larry H. Parker person and whether of heard from him or her. So if you're reading this, whether you're Mr. P himself or an employee of his, you can make many lives more enriched by taking a few minutes to write to me. And whatever your choice (as long as it doesn't include a lawsuit), thanks for reading.

The stats page has also gotten me curious about several other readers. Like the people (or wolves) in Malaysia and Israel. How did you find this site? Also: Does anyone with a conservative bent ever check in? Most of the comments seem to lean left.

Oh Please

In a naked appeal to "security moms," the Bush Administration says Iraq-based terrorists may attack American schools.

Remarkably, four of the six states where the attacks may occur are hotly contested swing states. It's also strange that information about the possible attacks was supposedly uncovered this summer, but we're only hearing about it now that Bush has slipped in the polls. If this threat is so dire, why weren't we warned about it before the school year started?

More Fact Checking

Factcheck.org disputes Cheney's claim that the site defends his tenure at Halliburton. "And in fact" the site says, "Edwards was mostly right."

You've probably also heard that Cheney was wrong when he claimed he had never met Edwards before.

Also, apparently George Soros wasn't responsible for redirecting "Factcheck.com" visitors to his site -- the site's owner did it "to relieve stress on the service and to express a political point of view."

Accordingly, my kudos for Mr. Soros are hereby withdrawn.

Oh Crap

Sounds like Iran is a pretty strong contender for "the most likely nexus between the terrorists and weapons of mass destruction," doesn't it, Mr. Vice President? Funny how you insisted just a few hours ago that it was Iraq.

It's again beginning to look like someone got the two countries confused.

Fact Check

As I noted at 9:42 last night, Dick Cheney mistakenly called on Americans to read about Halliburton on a site called "Factcheck.com." What he actually meant was "Factcheck.org."

I found this out by checking Factcheck.com mere seconds after the Vice President told me too. There was no site registered under that name.

But guess what? I just checked the site again, at 4:07 a.m., and typing "Factcheck.com" will now take you to anti-Bush billionaire George Soros' site. That sneaky bastard went and bought the domain so Americans would be diverted from the site Cheney recommended to one he probably doesn't recommend.

Funny stuff, Mr. Soros. Kudos.

VeepDeb 2004

Sorry, I was looking for a cool way to say Vice Presidential Debate 2004. But of course there's nothing cool about a veep debate.

Anyway, here are my thoughts, accompanied by the time I thought of them.

9:12: Edwards has a nice smile, which will help him a lot. It's disarming. Speaking of disarming, Cheney just said we attacked Iraq because it was the most likely nexus of WMDs and terrorism. I hadn't heard that argument before, and it initially struck me as a good one. But then I realized: Prior to the war, Iraq didn't have WMDs, and had very few terrorists. Pakistan and Iran both seem like more likely Nexuses. Or is it Nexii? Whatever.

9:37: I thought Cheney had hit his zenith when he challenged the math behind Kerry and Edwards' contention that the U.S. has borne 90 percent of the costs and casualties in Iraq. But then he pulled out that line about how they voted against $87 billion for the war during the run-up to the Democratic primaries. To paraphrase: "If you couldn't stand the pressure from Howard Dean, how will you handle the pressure from Al Qaeda?" Devastating. Take notes, kids. That's why this guy's president.

9:42: Not to nitpick, but... Okay, I'm gonna nitpick. Cheney just directed millions of Americans to visit Factcheck.com for the truth about Halliburton. No such thing, dude. Maybe you meant Factcheck.org.

9:48: Oh geez. Edwards comes back with a deadly response to strong criticism of his Senate attendance record. He accuses Cheney of voting against a resolution calling for the release of Nelson Mandela, and an MLK holiday. Cheney lets that go unchallenged. There goes Bush's miniscule percentage of the black vote. Cheney also fails to respond to an accusation that he voted against Head Start and Meals on Wheels.

However, Edwards fails to invoke his "son of a factory worker" biography in a question about helping the poor in Cleveland. Oops.

By the way, this is the surliest debate I've ever seen -- and yet all the criticisms seems to be fair and aboveboard. This is great stuff.

10:16: Cringe. Asked what makes him qualified to be Vice President, Edwards mentions that he's traveled the world. Please drop this answer.

Cheney responds by accusing Kerry of picking Edwards to help deliver the South. Ouch. He's doing a good job of making it look like the Dems do things out of political expediency.

The most telling fact for me, however, is that Edwards keeps referring to Kerry's record and answers in the last debate. Cheney isn't doing that so often with Bush. I wonder why.

7:20: Oh geez! Cheney manages to work in tales of his own modest upbringing in a question about what makes him different from Edwards. Edwards should definitely be winning the "who comes from a more modest background" contest. He's definitely suffered from a lack of domestic questions, but I think Cheney's won this one.

7:34: Hold the presses. Edwards is telling his story of how his dad used to practice doing math at the kitchen table to get a better job at the mill. This story is so decent it's heartbreaking. I think Edwards may have won a few people over with the emotional appeal.

Cheney's closer is boring.

7:36: Okay, so here's how I see this.

Edwards won on looks and style. This things shouldn't be important but they are. He had one of the best hits of the night when Cheney didn't have a good answer about why he apparently voted against MLK, Head Start, Meals on Wheels, and oh yeah, Nelson Mandela. Edwards had a strong point that the country is more divided than ever under President "Uniter Not a Divider" Bush.

Cheney won the rhetoric contest by having a powerful thesis and sticking to it: Kerry and Edwards do things for political reasons, not because they actually believe in them. Of course that's a little true of every politician ever, but still, well played. It was a smooth way to turn his lack of flash to his advantage.

Addendum: Haha. Edwards has a little victory over Cheney with his slick closing maneuver: He shakes Cheney's hand before Cheney can get out of his chair, making him look small. Nice move, Edwards.

Addendum #2: I missed the fact that Edwards also said Cheney voted against a ban on allowing plastic, metal-detector-proof guns on planes. Geez.

Photo Essay: John Paul Stevens

As I explained yesterday, if Bush is re-elected the fate of Roe v. Wade will depend on the health of Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. If the pro-choice Stevens retires or (God forbid) dies, Bush will get to replace him with someone who probably won't be pro-choice. That will shift the fragile 5-4 Supreme Court majority in favor of those who oppose legalized abortion.

So I thought today would be a good time to investigate just how healthy Stevens really is. Can he make it through four more years of Bush? And perhaps beyond? You be the judge:


Wow, we're off to a great start. J.P. looks great in this picture -- except apparently we've got the wrong guy. Here's the real John Paul Stevens:


Not as good, right? But he does have a definite twinkle in his eye. His mind is sharp, which bodes well. Sorry, pro-lifers. And pro-choicers, you probably don't need to worry about voting. This guy will definitely make it to 2008, when the Republicans run...


Woops! I don't see a Democrat on the horizon who can beat John McCain, who like President Bush is pro-life. I also see McCain as a two-termer. So that means J.P. has to not retire or die until he's... let's see... 96 years old. That's asking a lot of the man, but hey -- he looks great! I'm sure he'll make it. Right?


Hmm.

Hallibeaten

I think Democrats can look forward to another victory in the vice presidential debate. I also think Edwards may be able to deliver Ohio -- where the debate is being held -- for Kerry. Cheney is very good at arguing for the war in Iraq, but Edwards is superior at focusing on domestic issues. And I think jobs and the economy are what Ohioans care about most. Add some criticisms of Halliburton, and I think Edwards has good odds to take this thing.

Also, the next presidential debate is Friday. I think Bush will win that one -- expectations are very low after the last debate. Unfortunately for Bush, no one will be watching on a Friday.

Bush vs. Roe vs. Wade

The current Supreme Court justices support abortion rights by a 5-4 margin. But it's a shaky majority at best: one of the justices who wants abortion to remain legal is 84-year-old John Paul Stevens. He looks pretty healthy in the picture above, but I don't know when it was taken.

If Stevens retires or dies, President Bush will get to replace him. And chances are Bush will choose someone anti-abortion, given that his judicial nominees tend to lean conservative. So, to put it simply: if Bush wins, abortion may be outlawed in his term.

Whether you're pro-choice or pro-life, Justice Stevens' health is something you might want to think about when you vote.

To the Death

If Kerry wins he'll be the first president since Jimmy Carter to oppose the death penalty. Of course, Kerry does favor the death penalty for terrorists, which is a bit of a hedge.

Still, I'm surprised more hasn't been made of Kerry's general opposition. Maybe this will come up in a future debate.

Style Over Everything

Ain't this a bitch. Rush Limbaugh just said on his show that people will remember the substance of President Bush's answers in last night's debate long after they remember his style. (I'm assuming Rush was delicately referring to the president's stuttering, pauses, and choleric facial expressions.)

Maybe Rush has a point. After all, everyone remembers Al Gore's answers in the first 2000 debate much better than they remember his sighing and his haughty demeanor, right? Sure they do.

Face facts, Rush: Whether they admit it or not, people care much more about style than substance. How do you think Bush became President in the first place? He's a good-looking guy, seems down to earth, and always looks relaxed (when he's not debating).

Given Kerry's sometimes orangey complexion, occasionally gangly appearance and lantern jaw, I pretty much assumed from the start of this campaign that Bush would crush him on style at every turn. I was totally wrong. Last night Kerry had a confident smile, and his height made him look domineering instead of goofy. Even his skin tone was good.

So Bush backers don't get to start kvetching now about style. Nobody forced their guy into that flight suit.